Let's march out the boys!

Before I start my next entry I wanted to say thank you t everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging. I still find it amazing to think that my silly ramblings can make it across the world! Hello to everyone in the US and Canada as the seem to be my biggest readers.

Carrying on.

The next year I clearly remember I was when I was in grade three, I worked out that this makes me 8 years old. I often find I remember times not by my age but by what grade of school I was in. School was very much an escape for me. Out of the chaos of my home life and into the routine of catholic school. After my Mother left Dad we moved into a housing commission home for single mothers.  It was a nice enough house when we moved in it was a three bedroom house with the main bedroom off the combined lounge and dining room. The kitchen was a little alcove room and down the hall was the bathroom, laundry and other two bedrooms. The room at the end of the hallway was my room and the one to the right was my sisters but this seemed to be be quite sporadic.

At first it wasn't just my sister, Mother and I though, Dad came to stay. My sisters bed was out in my room and my Dad put a double bed in my sisters room and he stayed for a while. My Dad wanted to make it work, he loved my Mother and he loved his children, so he tried to fit into her crazy sideshow. I knew that he wasn't going to stay though, that is wasn't going to work. So my Dad left and my Mother's slide into delusion and unpredictable angry picked up momentum.

I remember Dad moved in with an older woman first, all I remember is that she was nice and made me pumpkin soup. Once Dad left My Mother started her law degree again, the one she had left when I was born. This made her more distant as she was working hard and focused on proving she didn't need my Dad. I remember she had her desk set up in her room and she would shut herself in there, often until late.

As with I imagine, many people when they start at university she started getting involved in social groups. My Mothers group of choice was a women's rights group focusing on domestic violence. This fed my Mother's delusions, she had a flare for drama and adding props and people to her performances is something my Mother has had a talent for from a young age. My Mother has been through many a group, church and social stereotypes all to reflect her perceived victimization.

This is when my Mother meet Allison.

Substitute Girl Card #4 The observer.

Now I think Allison was a nice person, looking back on it I think she was really trying to relive her youth a little and her and my Mother shared the same views on parenting. Allison had three daughters (now I will make a note here, she may have had four daughters I can't quite remember) Tessa was the one aged closest to me and I remember I was a little in awe of Renee, one of the older girls. It seemed that every other weekend we had a sleep over at her place, there were no rules and my Mother and Allison would drink wine and listen to music while us girls would entertain ourselves long into the night.

I think Allison's philosophy was very 60s focused, on the free love and spirit side of things. She had left her husband and identified as a lesbian. Now, I had grown up with homosexual Uncles so this didn't really seem so much of an identifier for me in a person's personality and I still feel that way today. But I didn't understand Allison's relationship with my Mother an the influence she had on her. Allison was an active advocate for women's rights and got my Mother involved and as a result my Sister and I often tagged along. And this is when I developed my distaste for the way men are made out to be monsters, just because they're born the wrong gender.

Now on a side note before you all jump down my throat about the men comment, I have been abused I am not inexperienced and as far as I am concerned; I was abused by people. I don't hold a gender responsible for actions of a person. I believe in equality, not in gender or sexuality or any of that bullshit on the basis that a human being has a brain and choice and they chose to be an arsehole to me. I'm not ignorant.

Now I am getting towards grade 4 and I am 9 years old, my Mother has gained all her confidence regarding men back and is jumping head first into the dating scene. What could possibly go wrong right?