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So here’s the thing someone said I should write all these things down but, I find it hard to believe there is anyone out there who is really going to be interested. But I’ll write it all down and may be it will mean something to someone. Not the life changing, philosophical bullshit way but the “I’ll read this to the end when I have a moment” kind of thing.
So,
here it is; my story.
My name is Khayle (pronounced Kale, why the H and the Y? Because
they were Hy…get it! Ha! I am hilarious) and I am the substitute girl. I'm the
skeleton key that will unlock your potential so that you can fly away. My art
teacher in high school once asked me to do a self-portrait and I painted a
picture of a faceless girl surrounded by birds. See the things that she didn't
get though was every bird was either injured, entangled, caged, just generally incapacitated
and grounded. For an art teacher she had little insight. She didn't get it and
I failed the concept piece, which is fine I'm not one for the BS of creative
subjects anyway (yes I see the irony of saying that in essentially creative
writing piece, bite me).
When I thought about writing this I realised that I will
inevitable offend someone, have other draw conclusions on my mental state and other
still will come to other fanciful ideas on me as a person in general. My view on
myself is that I am a human just like everyone else, and I play my part just
like everyone does. I don’t have an abnormal amount of self-esteem issues to
the negative or affirmative. I don’t have the view that I am special any more
than the person next to me. I know I am different from the person next to me as
I think we all are but I guess I embrace those differences as they’re inevitable. Sometimes I do feel luckier than some as I often feel like I have a somewhat set path and understand myself better than the people around me. I know my place and the confines of it and that affords me a freedom I think.
I guess the main point behind me writing this blog is to better understand my reality through reflection and interpretation by myself and others. Something that has always been important to me is to see all the sides of the box before defining what's in it. This may possibly be why I have missed the stereotypical turns in finding my way through life. According to what "They" say (you know that collective entity with no substance but can somehow dictate our actions) I should really have a substance dependency and be at least on my second pregnancy. And yet I have a steady job, financial self awareness, a stable group of friends, an active social life and a large support network. Reviewing that it kind of reminds me of when I was young how I'd jump ahead to the grade above's math homework. I jumped ahead of the class again, sorry I'll work on getting back in line.
It is a little strange to start this blog when I have. In less than a weeks time I will pack up my life with my best friend Azael will pack our lives into a car, abandon our jobs and go live in a tiny town to escape the world and frankly if I have to be stuck with my thoughts you can be too.
Yesterday will start tomorrow.
Khayle
